Never Get Caught Cheating!
by ChieH
Summary: I think the title pretty much says it all. Pointless humor. Loooooong one shot.


"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

A cry of horror could be heard from a mile away. She couldn't understand how this could've happened. The day started out like any other. What did she do that was so horrible to deserve this?

--

It was like any other Saturday morning. Shizuru was always an early bird so she was the first to rise and start the day by washing up and preparing breakfast. Natsuki on the other hand was not such an early riser. But it seemed that is slowly changing, as she would wake up little earlier as time progressed.

No one could've imagined our tough rebelling lone wolf was more of an adorable puppy who loves to cuddle every night. And so, every morning when Natsuki realizes that the body heat of her love was slowly dissipating, she would get up with her eyes barely open to search out for her.

As Natsuki sleepily dragged herself into the kitchen, she made a light grunt sound to let Shizuru know of her presence. And as if on cue, Shizuru put a cup of coffee in front of our still half unconscious puppy and gave her a light peck on the cheek before finishing her task.

When Natsuki was finally awake enough to converse with Shizuru started off with few teases to get her daily dose of Natsuki's blush and then proceeded to go over their schedule. It wasn't really different from any other weekends they had. It was almost like a routine.

"Since it is such a beautiful day today, I would hate to let it go to waste by spending the day indoors. So I was thinking perhaps we could go on a picnic after all our chores are done. What does Natsuki think?"

"Umm.. I can't today. I have to go to a study meeting."

_S…tudy meeting?_

This is not making sense. Natsuki forfeiting her Saturday afternoon to spend time with her to… study? This just did not make any sense. It is true that Natsuki have become more diligent about her studies after entering university. Still, since she was quite smart, she'd usually finish all her homework and such during the weekdays in order to free her weekends. Then a particular name crept through our tea sipping idol's head.

_Lu Anh…_

There was this particular class Natsuki was taking that seemed to be advancing little more then any of her other classes. Even though she was doing much better then the rest of her classmates, she wasn't satisfied.

Anh was their sempai in the university. With Anh's personality seemed so disturbingly similar to Shizuru, the three of them have hung out from time to time. And so when this topic of the troublesome class came up, Anh offered her assistance. She took this class before and had insights. When Shizuru was about to politely decline for her partner, Natsuki cut her off by happily accepting the offer. That same night, Shizuru casually questioned as to why Natsuki accepted.

"I do not see why you accepted the Anh onee sama's help when I would be sufficient enough to help your studies. Or… does Natsuki find me not intelligent enough to do so?"

Shizuru knew that last part was unnecessary. But she would never pass up a chance to get a rise out of her cuddle fanatic. Not to mention the adorable blush that accompanied it.

"Baka! We both know you're one of the smartest person in school so don't even go there. And besides, you know we shouldn't study together….."

A flustered Natsuki said all the while the last part came out barely audible. If they weren't cuddling so close, Shizuru might've missed the last part. Both her brows as to why this was. There was no reason why they couldn't. As a matter of fact, they studied together before.

Both started thinking about the last time they 'studied' together. Neither was sure of exactly where it started to get so… wild. But the next morning, the room looked as if some paper monster exploded. As if that wasn't bad enough, being so tired out from their 'intensive studies', they were both late for their classes. And to make matters worse, neither couple had any homework to turn in.

This was somewhat expected from Natsuki since she was rather known for her lack of interest in school back in the days. As for Shizuru, the professor was quite a shock for the professor as well as her classmates. This was the first time Shizuru have failed to turn in her homework. After that day, both have agreed on studying separately. For if they kept 'studying' together, they feared neither would ever graduate.

Rewinding her memory to that time, a smile crept up Shizuru's face as she began to realize the claim behind Natsuki's reason. And again, this addicting need to tease her lover was never on a break. And so she decided to get her 'goodnight blush' before ending the day.

"Ara.. I cannot seem to recall what the reason is. Would Natsuki be kind enough to remind me?"

Natsuki seemed to be in a playful mood that night. As she raised her head from one of her favorite place, she lightly pushed Shizuru to her back and started lightly kissing up her neck till she reached the ear. Natsuki let out her husky voice that screamed, 'you're soooo going to get it'.

"I'll remind you all…….. night……. long……."

With that last sentence, Natsuki claimed her lover's lips as her right hand slowly traveled down towards that perfect….

**CENSORED! **

And remind her allllll night she did, for they didn't get up till well into late afternoon. Lucky for them the only class they had for the day was cancelled due bad weather. Otherwise, they would have to face another embarrassing start of the day.

So what's the problem one might ask. Well, with a VERY satisfied explanation she got from Natsuki, Shizuru agreed it would be a better idea to have Anh help with her class studies. Which is fine. Really, it was. So what if Natsuki seemed to be spending more and more time with Anh. So what if Shizuru seen them giggling like some school girls on their first date sitting oh so close to each other under a big oak tree.

No. It didn't bother our absolutely positively not jealous Shizuru one bit. She had no reason to. Natsuki loves her and only her. Natsuki would never cheat her on. EVER. That's right, she had complete faith in her.

Natsuki told Shizuru that she and Anh would be studying in the library. So after about 5 minute Natsuki left, Shizuru followed suit making sure to disguise herself with a hat, sunglasses, and a trech coat. Many would consider this to be spying. But spying is such a harsh word. Shizuru merely wanted to make sure her innocent puppy would arrive to the library safely. Motorcycles are quite dangerous you know. Is that so wrong?

Anh was already at the library and greeted her younger friend with a fond smile and started studying. As Shizuru stalked or as she would put it, protect visually till it got dark outside, she began to think how silly she was being. She chuckled as she looked over herself.

_Ara… if I did not know any better, I would mistake myself for some perverted flasher._

Then some noise of chairs shifting about took her out of self-observation. It looked as if the two were done and ready to leave. And as she didn't want to be caught, she trailed a bit behind making sure they would not notice.

Once outside the library, the two conversed a bit before both got on Natsuki's bike. Something was off. Why is Anh sitting in the back seat? That's Shizuru's place. And the direction they were heading was not towards their home. An irritating sensation started filling Shizuru's stomach as she kept following the two.

Shizuru's kept her sharp eyes on her targets as she pursued them to some bar. There weren't that many people there. And it was a decent place. Few pool tables, some people dancing to the music that wasn't so loud that no one had problems carrying their conversations.

As time went on, Shizuru did NOT like what she was seeing more and more. Buying a drink for your sempai to thank them for their hard work was acceptable. Signs of flirting such as giggling and casual physical contacts from her twin like girl were very irritating. And now, Natsuki is standing behind that tramp with her front pressed to the older ones back as she 'helped' Anh getting into the proper shooting stance at the pool table. This was really REALLY pushing it. Shizuru was doing everything in her power to keep her rage inside.

They are only playing pool. Natsuki is just being kind to make sure that that tramp.. I mean onee-sama learns properly. Yes.. Natsuki would nev…..

Shizuru never got to finish her thought as her mind went completely blank in response to what she saw.

Kissing. The two were kissing. And this wasn't just your friendly 'hello/goodbye' sort of kiss. This was a full-blown, tongue involving, lust filling, and eyes rolling back in the back of your head sort of kiss.

"YOU SLUTS!!"

No one would ever imagine the ever so graceful and polite Shizuru would even know such a vulgar word not to mention yelling it at the top of her lungs.

The two accused hussies looked over to where Shizuru was with surprise. Not expecting to be caught in such… situation, the two broke off their physical contact quicker then lightening. Natsuki started making her way towards her now 'will explode any second now' girlfriend, fear washed over her. As she remembered how horrible her lover's temper can be.

Shizuru really was about to explode and what explosion this will be. She made a quick exit outside as a new song started playing in the bar.

_Right now she's probably slow dancing with a bleach blonde tramp,  
and she's probably getting frisky...  
right now, she's probably buying her some fruity little drink cause she can't shoot whiskey..._

_Right now, she's probably up behind her with a pool-stick, showing her how to shoot a combo..._

_And she don't know..._

No one dared to question Shizuru as to where she got the sledgehammer. And no one was brave enough to stop her from what she was about to do either. Contrary to what many believed, Shizuru was anything but weak. As she took that hammer in both hands and went straight to work.

Natsuki made it just in time to the parking to witness the start of Shizuru's destruction of her baby. As she brought the hammer down from the side swinging as if she were playing baseball, the headlights on the beautiful black ducati was no more. But it didn't stop there. As if a computer was processing as instructed by some program, Shizuru acted as the song went on.

_  
__That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 2 wheel drive,  
carved my name into his biker seat...  
I took a Louisville slugger to all headlights,  
slashed a hole in all 2 tires..._

Maybe next time she'll think before he cheats.

Natsuki's eyes went wide in horror. She was so shocked that she could neither move nor speak.

How could've this happened? I love Shizuru! I would never cheat on her! Why did I kiss Anh?! WHY?! I don't understand what's going on! What's happening?!

There was no way her questions could be answer at this point in time. For Shizuru was just about to put her finishing touches of her 'work' by setting the poor innocent machine on fire. As Shizuru lit the match and was about to drop it, Natsuki bolted towards Shizuru to make one last futile attempt in saving her mechanical best friend.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Natsuki bolted straight up as she stretched her right hand forward as if she were desperately reaching for something. Her heartbeat was speeding way past its speeding limit. She was drenched with sweat. But after few minutes, she realized she was in bed. It was all a dream. No, not a dream, a freaking nightmare!

What the hell was that?! Why would I dream about cheating on Shizuru? I'd never do that to her! NEVER!

Trying to recollect herself, she went to the bathroom to splash some cold water on her face in an attempt to wash away the horrible nightmare. The images of her lover being so hurt not to mention the state her bike, or as Shizuru refers to it as "Natsuki's Mistress" in ruins was plaguing her mind. And when she was finally calm enough, she walked into the kitchen where she knew her future wife would be. As soon as Shizuru came into view, Natsuki quickly padded her way towards her and gave a fearsome hug from behind. Being this close to her always calmed her.

"Ara, Natsuki is in quite a loving mood so early in the morning. I would hate to let all this food get cold but for Natsuki, I do not mind."

Is she so addicted to teasing her that it's the first thing she does every time she sees Natsuki? Well, we all know the answer to that now don't we? But that will never stop Natsuki from giving the reaction that we all that follows.

"Shi… Shizuru! Must you do that every single morning?"

Hiding behind Shizuru's back didn't help. Shizuru already knew her poor puppy was blushing from the heat that was currently rising up.

"Natsuki got all my hopes up only to take it away. Ikezu…"

"Mou Shizuru…….."

That was the only reply Natsuki could muster. And Shizuru could've sworn she heard some whimpering like a puppy begging for something from her master. So even though she would've loved to continue this 'tradition', she decided to cut Natsuki some slack. Shizuru gave a pat on Natsuki's head while craning her neck to the side to give the puppy a treat of a light kiss on the lips.

"Go sit down, I will bring you your breakfast."

As they started on their breakfast, the two women did what they did every morning. And that is to plan for the day.

"So, seeing as to how beautiful it is outside, I was thinking perhaps we should go out on a picnic after our chores are finished."

Natsuki almost choked on the toast she had in her mouth when hearing this. But it's just a coincidence. It is a beautiful day and Shizuru enjoyed being outdoors on days like this. Just a coincidence. Yes.

"Ara.. How careless of me. Natsuki said she had a study date with Anh onee-sama this afternoon, did she not?"

This time, Natuski almost spit out all the milk she was currently trying to drink to push down the food she choked on earlier. She totally forgot about that. And yes, it's VERY likely that this is just a coincidence. Nothing that happened in her dream would NEVER EVER happen. Then her left eye started twitching. This was not a good thing because it was a sign that she was getting quite anxious.

"Umm.. Actually, I think I'm going to cancel that study date.. MEETING!! MEETING!! Did I say date?! Hahaha I totally meant meeting."

Natsuki was a wreck. She didn't know why but she felt as if she was thiiiiiiiiiiis close to getting caught doing something she shouldn't.

"Is Natsuki sure? I would hate to be the cause cancellation of your date with Anh onee sama."

Why did she have to call it a 'date'. It's not a date and she knew it! All the same, it made Natsuki feel extremely uncomfortable now.

"Stop calling it a date! It's not a date and you know it! Besides, the semester is almost over and I think I understand enough to secure an A for the class. I'm going to call Anh to let her know."

After making herself clear, Natsuki got up and scurried to the living room to make her call. Shizuru craned her neck slightly towards the direction Natsuki went and when she heard Natsuki speaking, she started to make her way to the bedroom they shared.

Once she got in, she carefully closed the door. With a mischievous glint in her eyes and wicked smile on her face she tipped toed her way to the nightstand on Natsuki's side and reached to grab something behind the furniture. It was a small tape recorder. The volume was set to a point that considering where it was placed, it would have been very difficult to hear what was coming out of it unless you listened very VERY carefully.

Shizuru pushed the play button and a familiar tune started. Seems as though the song was coming to an end as the last verse of the song repeated couple times.

Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

Ohh.. Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats...

Ohh... before he cheats...

Oh how she loved her psychology class. Especially the subject they cover a month ago, Subliminal Message. As she silently congratulated herself on a job well done, she pushed the stop button on it and was about to put it away in a safe place. She might have to use it again later, you know. The door swung open surprising her.

"Shizuru, I thought you were still in the kitchen finishing breakfast. What are you doing here?"

If it were anyone else, they would've been exposed for the criminal they were. But our Shizuru isn't just like anyone else, is she? She calmly bends towards the bed as if she was about to take the sheets off while expertly concealing the recorder in the sheets.

"Ara, I was not very hungry this morning so I decided to come and make the bed. But I noticed how the sheets were bit damp so I thought change them out now and get started with our chores."

Shizuru's response came out so naturally that no one in the world would've guess the truth behind it. And it made sense to Natsuki. She did wake up drenched in sweat earlier. At the same time, she felt bad that it added one more thing on the chore list for Shizuru.

"Ah, yeah… sorry about that. Umm.. I'll clean the bathroom tomorrow!"

As Shizuru gathered the sheets in her arm, she walked over to give her a peck on the cheek.

"Ookinni"

Natsuki looked so adorable. Even though Shizuru felt slightly guilty for her actions, she decided it was for the greater good.

I am not jealous nor do I distrust my Natsuki. I am merely being cautious. Yes. It is always good to be cautious. I think I shall make all of Natsuki's favorite dishes for picnic this afternoon.

And with this last thought, Shizuru put everything including her partner in crime in their place, she started preparing for the wonderful day she will be spending with the love of her life.

Author's Note:

If you haven't noticed, that song inspired this whole story: Before He Cheats. I changed the lyric tiny tiny bit to fit my story but I think it still works. I think someone from the Sailor Moon ff section had a story similar to this but I can't remember whom. The same song also inspired it. LOL

If by chance the author of that other story is reading this, I apologize you feel offended that I've used the idea without your permission! It's the same concept by I did NOT copy the other story in any other way. I just wanted to make that clear. :D

Why is it that when I start a story, I intend it to be pretty short but ends up being 3 times longer then what I planned? I was stuck with the other story so I was hoping writing something new would help un-clog this writer's block I have.

I wrote this in few hours so I know it has a lot of mistakes. Sorry about that. Anyway, thanks for reading!


End file.
